| Deep In Your Heart | | Author: Deia | | Category: V, MSR, post-ep | | Rating: PG | | Feedback: deiasm@deiasaddiction.net | | Distribution: go ahead, just let me know | | Spoilers: All Souls | | Disclaimer: Not mine, not making any money from it | | Summary: Dana Scully struggles to make sense of events occurring in “All Souls.” |
A.N. As always, many beta thanks dearest Sallie. You're the best beta, best supporter, best friend someone can ask for and I'm very lucky to have you in my life.
Dedication: for Donna, one of the most talented ladies of this fandom. Happy Birthday, sweetie!!! |
Deep In Your Heart |
Mulder woke up feeling nostalgic. It was a Sunday, and as far as he was concerned, Sundays always tended to have a sad feel to them. He looked around his living room, and couldn't find anything to hold his attention. He didn't want to watch TV or look for anything over the Internet, and he was feeling too lazy to go run or do anything else, for that matter.
Mulder hated that feeling.
Going back to sleep wasn’t an option. He was wide awake, bored, and too lazy to do something about it. If it started raining... he looked outside... it was raining. Great.
The phone seemed appealing. It was the only thing that appealed to him, actually. He didn't know if the call would be welcome, though. Scully had been a little off ever since the case of the handicapped quadruplets. He wanted to help, but religious faith was something very difficult for Mulder to understand.
He was startled out of his thoughts by a knock on the door. Mulder sighed and dragged himself from the couch to the door. When he opened it, he was surprised to find Scully on the other side.
"Hi, Mulder."
"Scully? Come on in." He motioned her to enter and guided her to the couch. "Is everything okay?"
"Yes... Actually, I don't know."
Mulder looked at her with concern. "What's wrong?"
"It's this case, Mulder. I can't get it out of my head. I can't..." she trailed off.
Mulder put his arm around her shoulders and brought her closer to him. "You have to forgive yourself, Scully. You did what you thought was right. What you felt was right."
"What if it wasn't? Maybe I could have saved her, Mulder." Her voice was choked with emotion.
"I think you did, Scully."
"How... how can you say that? I let her die!"
She looked so lost, Mulder had to steady himself before answering. "There was something or someone out there trying to get to those girls, Scully. I first thought it was Father Gregory, and I admit I was wrong. I believe now he was trying to protect them. I also think that wherever they are, they’re safer than they were here. I won't pretend I can explain what happened, because I can’t. Nor will I say they were saved by God, because you know me better than that. But I do think they are in a better place, and while they were here, you helped them in every way you could."
Scully smiled shakily at him, and nodded, "Thank you. I don't know if I can forgive myself yet or if I ever will, but I'll think about what you said. Maybe I can come to accept it with time."
"You will, Scully. You will." They stayed quiet for a few minutes. "What do you think of getting some lunch? Are you hungry?"
"Not really, I think I should head back home."
"No. Stay. If you don't want to eat, let me make you some tea. It'll make you feel better."
She looked up at him gratefully, "Thank you."
"I'll be right back."
As Mulder went to the kitchen, Scully made herself comfortable on the couch. When he came back with their mugs, she was fast asleep. He sat on the floor beside her, and put the mugs on the coffee table. He searched her face, and saw the dark circles under her eyes. After everything Scully had gone through in the past year, she didn't deserve another blow. She was just starting to put herself back together after what happened with Emily. He reached out to stroke her hair. At the contact, Scully snuggled a little closer to him, which made him smile.
Mulder stayed like that for a while, as if guarding his partner’s dreams. He felt himself getting sleepy as well, and leaned his head against the couch. He focused on Scully’s face until his eyes became too heavy, and he drifted off to sleep himself.
Several hours later Mulder stirred, and the first thing he noticed was fingers running through his hair. It felt so good, he contemplated going back to sleep. When he realized, though, who was doing the stroking, he decided that no dream would be better than his current reality. He lazily opened his eyes, searching for Scully's. When their gazes connected, a goofy smile lit up his face.
Scully couldn't help but smile back. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen him so relaxed. It made her feel good for the first time in days. Her fingers left his hair and started exploring his face. His eyes closed again and for a moment, Scully forgot how to breathe. Her fingers continued to trace patterns on his face, but she avoided touching his lips. She wasn’t sure if she was quite ready for that.
Mulder solved the problem for her, when he turned his face and left a gentle kiss on her fingertips. The touch of his lips to her skin made her stomach clench, and her heart flutter. She could barely conceal the longing in her eyes, and when Mulder looked back at her, she was sure he recognized it, because she could see the same longing in his eyes.
Slowly, she pulled his head toward hers, until their lips were mere inches apart. Looking into his eyes, Scully felt like she was drowning—there was so much feeling directed at her, and her alone. For a second she questioned whether she deserved such a gift, but Mulder, as if sensing her thoughts, brought his lips to hers, and it was impossible for Scully to think any longer.
They took their time tasting each other, exploring and discovering new territories. Feelings long-buried deep inside them were finally released, consuming them. It was beautiful, right, and intense, but it was also too much.
Mulder broke the kiss, and looked seriously at the woman who held his heart. "I think we should slow down a little."
For a moment Scully thought of protesting, but she knew Mulder was right. She was too vulnerable to allow things to progress any further at this moment. The last thing she wanted was to let herself get carried away for the wrong reasons.
Scully sat back on the couch, and Mulder followed her, pulling her to him. She nestled against his side and he leaned over, lightly kissing her forehead, feeling her smile on his shoulder.
"What do you think of pizza and a movie next Saturday? My treat."
"Why Scully, that sounds an awful lot like a date."
"Is that bad?" Scully looked up to find his eyes dancing with amusement.
"No, not at all."
"It's a date then."
"It's a date." They both grinned, and when Scully snuggled against his chest, Mulder could feel her relax against him. Maybe he couldn’t banish her demons forever, but he would do what he could to keep them at bay for as long as possible.
End | |
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